For many mothers and father, the question of organizing the discipline of a child becomes the most acute in the process of education. After all, very often there are situations when you try to explain to your 2-year-old child with all your might that you cannot do this or that, but after a few minutes he again behaves as if his mother’s attempts in matters of discipline did not exist.
How to discipline a child – read in our material.
What is discipline for a child? Many parents still associate this word with punishment, and sometimes with the use of physical force. In fact, discipline is the establishment of rules in a child’s behavior in such a way as to protect him from aggression, inappropriate behavior, or anything else that is not accepted in society. Also, discipline is teaching a child that certain consequences are coming for breaking the rules.
To teach a child to discipline.
If you say “No” to the child at all times, he will be confused and will not be able to see the real priorities in behavior. This means that you need to determine for yourself what the child categorically should not be allowed in behavior, and what is still possible.
To the first category, identify some strategically important aspects of behavior (fight, shout in the street, and so on), to the second – that he will outgrow in any case (prefer purple-colored clothes, do not eat meat, and so on).
Try not to say no to your child. Stimulate him to action, and also praise him for what he has done. For example, you should not tell that it is impossible not to share toys. You need to ask to share, and then praise the baby.
Determine the causes of the negative behavior
Some manifestations of bad behavior can be prevented in advance if you understand why they occur. So, after the occurrence of the cause, it is possible to translate everything into the game, thereby cooling the ardor of the baby and not allowing the model of bad behavior to materialize. Or you can eliminate the very reason.
Be consistent in your child’s upbringing
How to teach a child to discipline in 2-3 years. At the age of 2 to 3 years, children are trying with all their might to determine how others react to their actions. It is very important to remain consistent during this period.
That is, if it is unacceptable for you to throw toys around the nursery, then always focus on this.If you ask the child to clean the room in the first day, and on the second day you ignore the problem, the child will decide that cleaning the toys in the room is not the most important task.
After two years, many children learn to be gentle and sweet, than they try to avoid the consequences for misdemeanors: someone is embracing, someone is kissing, someone is making a very nice facial expression. The main thing is to be persistent and make it clear to the kid that there will be certain consequences for these or other actions.
When educating (disciplining) do not give in to emotions
Calmness is the best friend of the discipline. Of course, to remain calm when your child refuses to brush his teeth or eat dinner for the 10th evening in a row – a difficult task, but you need to try. The thing is that when emotions are “turned on” in an adult, the child is unable to hear what is being said to him. He sees only the emotional component. Moreover, an angry reaction can provoke the child, because he sees that his actions are working.When you disciplining the child, remain calm.
When you want to get angry, take a deep breath, count to three. Remember, when you scold your baby, it is important to be serious, firm and severe, but without aggression or anger.
Many parents, during the educational process, begin to tell the baby for a long time why it cannot be done, and also to paint in all colors the possible consequences for disobedience. This is an ineffective approach.
The fact is that children up to three years simply can not keep the concentration for a long time. And parents would like to make them disciplined and responsible. Therefore, you need to build phrases briefly, you can repeat them several times, adding emotional color with the help of facial expressions.
After two years, the children already understand more, and in a situation if the kid jumps on the sofa, you can say: “Don’t jump. Jumping on the bed is dangerous, you can fall. Do not jump”. At three years old, children already understand a causal relationship, so in a situation where a child does not want to brush his teeth, it would be appropriate to say: “name of the child, you must brush your teeth. You can do it yourself, or I can do it. Decide yourself. Remember, the longer you decide, the less time you have left to watch cartoons. ”
When disciplining a child, it is important not to forget about timeouts.
The time-out system is an excellent choice for kids who have not been helped by the explanations and consequences for bad behavior. The system itself is simple: if the child is guilty, he is sent to a safe place, where there are no toys and parents. For example, for a one-year-old child, one minute of stay in the time-out zone is enough.
Before you apply this system, you must warn the child that you count to three, and only then will you carry him to the timeout zone. So, he should have a chance to improve and change the pattern of behavior.
If the chance is missed, and the child still got a time out, be sure to hug him and make it clear that you are not angry – just everything has its consequences. Also do not forget to put a timer that will measure the time of “disqualification”.
Always be positive with your child when raising a child or disciplining.
A child should never hear that you are disappointed in him. Even if he committed the most terrible deed. The fact is that the contemplation of negative notes or disappointment will lead to the fact that the child will not respect you, and will necessarily repeat a bad deed.
Of course, we are all people and irritation – one of their frequent emotions, which we feel. However, in the case of children, when you feel irritable, you need to go for a walk, be alone or work out in order to put yourself in order. And only then talk to the baby.
To effectively introduce a system of discipline in a child’s life, it is necessary to understand the stages of a child’s development:
In 18 months. Your child is curious, impulsive, he has no inherent feeling of fear, he also does not fully understand the consequences of what he has done. Yes, the kid at this age begins to gain the first vocabulary, he understands short instructions, but still cannot express his needs, as well as understand when he is being scolded, using a large number of phrases.
It is at this age that the baby can bite or pinch when he is unhappy, and also make a bad deed to attract attention. At this age, you need to very quickly and briefly pay attention to the wrong behavior of the baby, because after 10 minutes, he will not be able to relate cause and effect.
At 2 years old, a child actively uses motor skills to understand his limits in running, jumping, playing with the ball, or overcoming obstacles on the court. He already knows how to talk a little, but still can not express his opinion. Therefore, when the baby is not understood, he falls into hysterics. In addition, children at this age are egocentric and do not like to share.
It is necessary to react to the wrong behavior instantly, as the child has no sense of time. By the way, a 2-year-old child should always be given a second chance in a short time after the trouble that has happened, since he still cannot cope with his impulsiveness.
As a rule, by the age of three the child begins to talk, actively defending his point of view. In addition, at this age there is a need to communicate with other children. 3-year-olds are always mobile. In general, activity and movement are necessary for a three-year-old child as well as food, sleep and love.
It should be noted that at the age of three, the child already clearly understands what can and cannot be done, and also maintains a causal relationship within a few hours.