What are the causes of children’s tantrums. Maybe are a bad mood of a child or a form of pressure on parents in order to receive (toys, candy). Parents make concessions to the child so that he does not shouted and not cry. Causes of tantrums in children? How to avoid tantrums? The tactics of parents behavior during a tantrum.
Your baby is not going to stop the already second tantrum for today,and shrill, unbearable screams are heard again in the room. You would gladly run out of the house and go somewhere but … unfortunately, we must look for a more rational way out of this situation.
However, you should not consider child tantrums as a natural disaster, try to treat such differences in children’s mood as an opportunity for learning.
Causes of tantrums in children
Tantrums can take various forms – from whining and crying to screaming, hitting the floor, jerking with legs and hands, and holding breath. They are equally characteristic of both boys and girls, and, as a rule, occur between the ages of one and three years.
In some children, tantrums occurs more often, in others less. In general, this is a normal part of the child’s development. With the help of hysterics, babies demonstrate their grief or depression from the inability to satisfy their desires.
Tantrums occur when children feel tired, hungry, uncomfortable, or because they cannot get what they want (for example, the subject or attention of parents). The ability to cope with frustration is a skill that children acquire over a long period of time.
Tantrums are most often observed during the second year of life, at a period when children are just beginning to develop speech skills. Since the kids still do not know how to convey with words what they want, what they feel or what they need, unsuccessful attempts to do this can provoke a tantrum. As language skills develop, tantrums often pass.
Children also strive for independence and control over their environment – more independence and more control than they can do at this stage of development. This often provokes a quarrel with parents, because the child thinks: “I can do it myself” or “I want it, give it to me immediately.” When children discover that they cannot cope with something and do not get what they want, they throw a tantrum.
How to avoid tantrums
If possible, try to prevent tantrums, to warn her. Here are some tips to help you with to prevent tantrums:
Give your child enough positive attention. Take the habit of focusing on the good behavior of the child. Encourage your baby with praise and attention to his positive behavior.
Let the children control some little things. Offer them several choices, for example: “Do you want orange or apple juice?” Or “Do you want to brush your teeth before or after taking a bath?”. Thus, you can avoid asking the question in the form: “Will you brush your teeth now?”, Which almost always leads to a negative answer.
Keep prohibited for the child items out of her attention and reach. This will reduce the likelihood of quarrels about this. It is clear that this is not always possible, especially outside the home, where you do not have the ability to control the environment.
Distract the child. Benefit from the still unstable concentration of attention of your child. Start a new lesson instead of one that is forbidden. Or just change the situation. Take the child outside, bring him into the house, or move him to another room.
Help children learn new skills and succeed. Help children learn something new. Praise them so that they feel the inner satisfaction and joy that they can now do something themselves. Start with something simple and only then, after the child has mastered it, go on to more difficult tasks.
Consider your child’s limits. If you know that your baby is tired, then in this case you should understand that now is not the best time to go with him to the store or to ask to perform some kind of request.
If there is a threat to the safety of the child, while she continues to do what you have forbidden her, punish her by putting him in a corner or in another neutral place (use the so-called time-out), or just hold it firmly for a few minutes. Be consistent. Do not make concessions in matters of security.
The tactics of behavior during a tantrum
In response to the tantrum, the most important thing is to keep calm. Does not weigh down the problem with your own anger. Remind yourself that your job is to teach your child to calm down. And for this it is important to be calm yourself.
Your actions and deeds are an example for a child. It is impossible to beat, give slaps to a child in any case. After all, so you will make it clear that the use of force and physical punishment is the norm. In the long run, this can lead to even more negative behavior. Try to stock up enough of the spirit, which is enough for both of you.
Child tantrums need to be dealt with differently, depending on the reason why your child is upset. Sometimes you need to give her an atmosphere of comfort and peace. In other cases, it is better to ignore the emotional outbursts and distract them with a new occupation. If your child is tired or hungry, she should take a nap or snack. If a tantrum occurs after you have denied the child something, keep calm and do not begin a detailed explanation of why you cannot give her what she wants. Try to get your child interested in something else. Change classes.
Children who, during a tantrum, may harm themselves or others, should be taken to a quiet safe place so that they can calm down. This should be done when a tantrum occurs in public.
Children of preschool age and older often use tantrums as a way to achieve your (of course, if they have experience that confirms that this behavior works). School-age children should be sent to calm down in their room.
Instead of setting a certain time limit, tell the child that he should stay in the room until he regains control over his behavior and emotions. This will give her the rights and possibilities: she will be able to influence the result with her own actions and thereby acquire a sense of self-control, which was lost during the hysterics. But if you send the child to the room not only for tantrum, but also for the negative behavior shown (for example, because she hit someone), a certain length of punishment should be clearly established.
Do not fall for a child tantrums. By this you only confirm that she has found an effective way to get her way. Praise the child for the restoration of self-control and keep in mind that after the tantrum, she is probably very vulnerable and sensitive, as she most likely realized that she was, to put it mildly, not very good behavor. Now (when your child has calmed down) it’s time for hugs and assurances that you love her, no matter what.
Check that the child has enough sleep. When not getting enough sleep, children can become tantrum, irritable and demonstrate extremes in behavior. Healthy sleep prevents large numbers of tantrums. Find out how much time your child needs at bedtime. A healthy sleep time should satisfy its individual needs and may differ slightly from the norm.
When you need to see a doctor
Consult a doctor if:
- You often feel angry or lose control when you react to a child tantrums.
- Tantrum spoils your relationship with the child.
- Tantrums are becoming more frequent, intense or prolonged.
- The child often hurts himself or others.
- Your child seems very irritated, constantly arguing does not go for cooperation.
The doctor will help determine if the child has health problems that may be exacerbated by tantrums or provoke them. Thus, problems related to hearing or vision, chronic diseases, speech delay or impaired ability to learn can make children more prone to tantrums.
Remember: tantrums is usually not a cause for concern, and in most cases stops without intervention. As they get older, children gradually acquire the skills of self-control, learn to cooperate, communicate and overcome irritation. The less frustration and more control over behavior, the less tantrum and happier parents.